LMFT, ATR, MBA
Open Deeply: A Guide to Building Conscious, Compassionate Open Relationships
Now available where ever books are sold
I dedicate this book to all those who resonate with a love language that is beyond Chapman's famous five - a love language that includes freedom, carefree fun, and adventure.
A full one-fifth of the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point in their lives, and 29 percent of adults under thirty today consider open relationships to be morally acceptable—yet there are few resources to turn to when it comes to navigating this more non-traditional and explorative territory.
Picking up where CNM self-help books like Opening Up, The Ethical Slut, and More Than Two leave off, Open Deeply tackles the most difficult challenges posed by CNM. Therapist Kate Loree—who has practiced non-monogamy since 2003, and who specializes in treating clients who also practice non-monogamy—pulls no punches as she uses vignettes based on her own life, as well as her clients’ experiences, to illustrate the highs, lows, and in-betweens of life as a consensual non-monogamist. Interwoven with these stories are thorough explanations of how attachment theory impacts non-monogamy, how blending cutting-edge, neurobiology-informed grounding skills with effective communication skills will make even the most challenging conversations regarding non-monogamy manageable, and more. The result is a compassionate, attachment-focused template for non-monogamy that will allow readers to avoid pitfalls and find adventure while concurrently building healthy relationships.
Non-monogamy is a wild and woolly ride—and Open Deeply is here to help make it a great one.
Janet W. Hardy
Coauthor, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love
Alternative relationships - all the hundreds of options beyond lifelong monogamy - are more in the public eye than ever before, and a huge number of people are opening their minds and hearts to such options. Yet even the best-meaning adventurers grew up in a culture that values monogamy over all other forms, which means that few of us have built-in skills for navigating our options with self-awareness, good ethics and empathy. Kate has written the perfect primer for anticipating and coping with the inevitable roadblocks that most of us experience along the road to the relationships we want. Clear, direct and well informed, this is an excellent book for explorers and would-be explorers of the pathways that lie off the edges of our culture’s tidy Ozzie-and-Harriet map.
Author of Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
A deeply compassionate book that offers grounded, somatic, practical skills for navigating non-monogamy. Kate Loree's depth of knowledge and experience creates an accessible, thoughtful, jam-packed guide to attachment styles, communication practices, coping with triggers, and healing old wounds. The stories she shares from real people are honest, raw, and enlightening. I feel like I got two years worth of therapy with a seriously gifted therapist by reading this book! Relationship styles have evolved over the decades, and Open Deeply is the book we need now to nurture conscious, loving connections.
Certified Sex Educator & Certified Relationship Coach, Host & EP of Sex with Sunny Megatron, a Showtime Original Series, Host of American Sex Podcast & Co-host of Open Deeply Podcast, Winner 2021 XBIZ Sexpert of the Year
This is the book every consensually non-monogamous person has been waiting for! Going well beyond the basics, Open Deeply is a practical guide for navigating the messy, tender, imperfect parts of open relationships. Factors like attachment style, mental health, coping strategies, societal conditioning, and trauma impact non-monogamous partners in unique ways. Kate Loree channeled her unparalleled insight and wisdom as a sex-positive therapist to create this groundbreaking relationship book written entirely through the lens of non-monogamy. She shares actionable strategies for compassionate communication, self-understanding, breaking unhealthy patterns, and decoding root causes of conflict. No more having to retrofit monogamy-specific advice to polyamorous situations. We finally have a resource for building healthy, fulfilling, sustainable multiple relationships that’s specifically for us!
Sex Educator, Creator/Director/Producer of The Guide to Wicked Sex Educational series, Brand Strategist for Wicked Sensual Care
HOLY SH*T! I wish this was around twenty years ago! Consensual Non-Monogamy is not a new concept, but never before has there been such a comprehensive guide to help people fully understand it and navigate their individual journey. After we cast away societal norms and eschew the outdated ideology of what a “traditional” relationship looks like, we are met with infinite partner possibilities- yet no prior blueprint existed to guide us. Kate has gifted us with her research and lived experience to explain the basics and to also help the reader understand how it actually works, with a deep dive into an exploration of self that facilitates an awareness of trust, compassion, communication, while also helping us readjust when something goes wrong. In a world where the prevalence of “alternative” relationships is emerging at lightning speed, Open Deeply is a long-awaited foundational tool for a lifetime of loving ourselves and others.
Dr. Chris Donaghue
PhD, LCSW, CST, author of Sex Outside the Lines, and Rebel Love
Couples and individuals are exploring all the creative ways of relationshipping, no longer only considering the option of monogamy. Loree’s work offers a guide, using her own story along with her years of clinical experience, to aid readers towards a better understanding of relationships led with ethics and research, but also with love and care. Few books understand the importance of attachment theory for building multiple, or singular, long term sustainable relationships. Open Deeply honors all relationships as meaningful and legitimate, while addressing benefits and challenges of both monogamy and open relationships. Always brilliant, and always with compassion, Loree reminds us that true love is about freedom, and with that freedom comes a much deeper love.
LMFT, Author, Sex Educator
Open Deeply is BRILLIANT! As much as it is for anyone who wants to explore consensual non-monogamy, this book is also for any relationship that could use a tune-up or tune-in. Plus, Open Deeply should be on every mental health professional’s must-read list. Full of insights and examples that will help you feel empowered to navigate any form of relationship model with compassion and understanding, Open Deeply is the non-monogamy book we all need to read right now.
10 Non-Fiction Relationship Books for Cuffing Season
Although a growing number of adults are recognizing the benefits of consensually non-monogamous or open relationships, there are very few resources to utilize when it comes to navigating through this non-traditional and explorative territory. The author uses experiences from her own life to provide proof of success to go with the tips and tricks she provides in this book. Non-monogamy can be a wild ride, and Open Deeply is here to make it a great one.
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