LMFT, ATR, MBA
Frequently Asked Questions
Not at all. In fact, I’d say that people who seek therapy tend to have a higher emotional intelligence than the general public. People who ask for help know when they need it and have the ability to reach out which is admirable. As Brene Brown has stated, there is strength in your vulnerability. Most trauma is not healed by an attitude adjustment or mind over matter. Trauma is body based. That’s why all the premiere books on trauma have names like “The Body Keeps the Score” and “The Body Bears the Burden”.
And for those considering couples therapy, it’s important for you to know that the biggest block to intimacy between two people (regardless of their relationship model) is unresolved trauma. Furthermore, much of our debilitating patterns are unconscious. Often, it’s hard to alleviate the mind and body of symptoms and reduce harmful patterns solely on your own.
Together, we will help you heal through cutting edge modalities like EMDR and somatic psychotherapy and all the while, I’ll teach you skills, so that you will be better able to independently care for yourself when you are not in session.
An emotionally intelligent loved one is a great resource for comfort and perhaps wisdom. However, I can help you approach your situation in a new way– teach you new skills, gain different perspectives, listen to you without judgment or expectations and offer healing modalities like EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, guided visualizations and art therapy.
If you are coming to me because you are non-monogamous, I can help you communicate and manage feelings informed by two decades of experience and knowledge related to non-monogamy and relationship skills.
To sum it up, the breadth and depth of the work that is possible with therapy is profound and the healing potential is often significantly greater than what may occur from simply venting to a friend.
Finally, therapy is completely confidential. Therefore, you won’t have to worry about others knowing what may feel too tender and raw to reveal as of yet. My intention is to provide a safe therapeutic container and a kind, compassionate ear for your hardest emotional material.
First, you may not need medication and if you do, medication alone cannot solve all issues.
What medication does is treat the symptoms. Trauma is healed by modalities such as EMDR and somatic psychotherapy and practices such as meditation and mindfulness.
Relationship issues are improved by understanding and healing attachment injuries and teaching communication skills that are interwoven with grounding skills.
Much of what will make your life better is gained by means other than meds. However, medication is sometimes needed in conjunction with therapy. And when a client is really suffering, medication can give them the emotional boost needed to put self-care practices in place that can create a positive spiral up to stability.
Because each person has different issues and goals for therapy, therapy will be different depending on the individual. I tailor my therapeutic approach to your specific needs.
Unfortunately, this is not possible to say in a general FAQs page. Everyone’s circumstances are unique to them. The length of time therapy may take in order for you to accomplish your goals depends on your desire for personal development, your commitment, and the factors that drive you to seek therapy in the first place.
I am so glad you are dedicated to getting the most out of your sessions. Your active participation and dedication are crucial to your success. Your part in the healing process will vary depending on why you came to therapy.
Regardless, I will often suggest books to read, skills to practice, or emotional exercises to do that will facilitate your growth and healing.
Individual counseling is preferred for self-work such as healing trauma, managing a mood disorder, or grieving the passing of a loved one. Regarding your relationship, individual therapy can help you to be your best self for your partner or partners. However, if you attempt to heal your relationship by gaining insight and healing yourself in individual therapy, but meanwhile your partner is not doing equivalent self-work, over time this dichotomy can leave you feeling like an oarsman rowing a canoe really hard on one side while your partner sits idly by. What happens? The canoe simply spins.
If your focus is your relationship, I would suggest couples therapy. A relationship takes two (or more if its non-monogamous) to move forward. Your partner’s presence is necessary for me to be able to see how you both communicate and relate to one another. From there, I can help you restructure your communication style into something that feels more connected, grounded, loving and validating.
In couples therapy, I will likely discover what your relationship’s “double trigger” moments are which can be defined as the instance when both of you are triggered simultaneously by each other’s old wounds. Usually, these moments define when the relationship is at its most fragile. Once these moments are pinpointed, awareness often coupled with EMDR sessions targeting the root injuries can often make the double trigger moment dissipate or resolve. From here, couples usually become much stronger and healthier.
Couple communication and healing double trigger moments are just two of many issues that are much easier to heal in couples therapy. Both individual and couples therapy have their benefits. You simply need to decide what you would like to prioritize.